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[The Kentucky Fried Movie English].

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00:01:00,643 --> 00:01:02,311
The popcorn you're eating
has been pissed in.

3
00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:04,271
Film at 11:00.

4
00:01:05,106 --> 00:01:08,650
At Argon, we know that
a country which depends on oil

5
00:01:08,943 --> 00:01:10,736
can't afford to run short,

6
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but conventional drilling
is not always possible.

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Now, new ways must be found
to produce crude oil.

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Here at our multibillion dollar
refinery in Fairbanks,

9
00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:24,166
we're extracting
over 2.5 billion barrels

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00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:26,043
of crude oil every day,

11
00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:28,003
from teenagers' faces.

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Crude oil can be shipped
via mammoth supertankers

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in order to better utilize
our country's vast supplies

14
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of yet untapped natural resources.

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And here in Milan, Italy,

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an affiliate of Argon has
developed a way to reclaim oil

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from the discarded combs
of local residents--

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enough to fill an 1,100 ft. tanker

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and save 60,000 gallons
of valuable energy.

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Back in the United States,

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we've developed a way
to filter the oil from carry-out food--

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an amount sufficient to supply
the entire city of Oakland, California.

23
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And for the future,
the promise of capturing

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over forty trillion cubic feet
of natural gas

25
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has brought us to Beaumont, Texas,

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and this unique recycling method.

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At Argon, we're working
to keep your money.

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Good morning.
Welcome to A.M. Today.

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- I'm Barbara Duncan.
- I'm Frank Bowman.

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In our next segment,
we'll see why schoolchildren

31
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are learning faster in Louisiana.

32
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,074
Why trains are running
slower in Vermont.

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We'll meet an adorable,
furry Australian friend.

34
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And we'll take an up-close look
at the nation's newest safety craze:

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Smoke detector alarms.

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But first, New York City
teachers are voting

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on whether to continue
their week-long strike.

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Ron Butler with local affiliate WILO

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is at the convention center now
with a live mini-cam report.

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Ron, what's the situation there?

41
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Ron, are the teachers still voting?

42
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It seems we are having
trouble getting that report.

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We'll try back later in the program.

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In the meantime, this is A.M. Today.

45
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It's 18 minutes after the hour,

46
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and time for our
daily feature of debate,

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"Count Pointercount"

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00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:22,534
Once again, here are
John Fitzsimmons

49
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and Sheila Hamilton.

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Well, Sheila, I guess
even you and your liberal cronies

51
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have found the light
at the end of the Tunnel of Love

52
00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:34,546
with our beloved president.

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The intellectuals
have been much agitated,

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and now, having gotten the presidency

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by exploiting the problems
they themselves have manufactured,

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he has done his best
to fuel their anxieties about him.

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Sheila, will you and your pack
of bleeding heart liberals

58
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never learn that
expanding welfare rolls

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only accelerates inflation

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and inevitably hurt most
those they purport to help?

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Why John, you old stick in the mud.

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I've been listening to that
horse shit of yours for months,

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and you can take that crap
and blow it out your ass.

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And for good measure,
sit on this, John.

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We understand that the teachers
have completed their balloting

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and a decision is forthcoming.

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Ron Butler, do you want to hazard
a guess as to the outcome of that vote?

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It's 19 minutes after the hour,
and now it's time for our daily feature,

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00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:42,739
the astrological report.

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A quick reminder:
these reports are not intended

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to foster a belief in astrology,
but merely to support people

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who cannot take responsibility
for their own lives. Joyce.

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If you're a Libra
and have been hesitant

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about making that big purchase,

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00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:58,839
hold off for another couple of days.

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Don't forget,
your Moon is in Sagittarius--

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not the time for reckless spending.

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You Virgos can expect
an untimely death

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00:05:08,057 --> 00:05:10,100
or perhaps a tragic dismemberment

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00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,269
for someone very close to you.

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Pisces: It's a good time
to pull the plug on that machine

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00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:19,276
that's been keeping your daughter
alive for the past six months.

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If you're Taurus, see your florist.

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And if you're Gemini like me,
you can expect the unexpected.

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I'm Joyce Wilson, your astro...

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Thank you, Joyce.
With us today, Judy Morton

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00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:36,960
from the San Diego
Wild Animal Preserve.

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Judy's been a guest on the show
many times in the past.

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it's always been an absolutely
delightful segment.

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- Welcome, Judy.
- Hello.

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And what have you
got for us today?

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Well, today I brought
an Australian gerbil.

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It's one of the few that we've
been able to raise in captivity.

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He's tame, isn't he?
He won't bite?

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Oh, no, he's real friendly.

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They're very loveable.
His name is Oscar.

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Oh. Hello, Oscar. Hello, Oscar.

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I'd like to get one of those
for my kids.

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They would make great pets

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except that they really do need
a wild surrounding.

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- Well... Oscar?
- Yes.

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Is absolutely irresistible.

103
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Now, I understand, Judy,
that you've got another surprise for us.

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Yes, that's right, Frank.

105
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Now, this next fellow
may not be small,

106
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but he certainly is cute.

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At least I think so.

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He's backstage right now.
I have to go get him.

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Okay, go ahead and do that.

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You know, this is always one of
my favorite segments of the show

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because I never know quite what
they're going to be bringing out here.

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Look what they are bringing out here!

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- Hello there!
- This is Dino.

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My gosh, he is huge!

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Don't let Dino's looks fool you.
He's really gentle as a lamb,

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as a result of being
raised in captivity.

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That's why we're able
to bring him out here.

118
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Is this a rare animal?

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Yes it is, Frank.

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As a matter of fact
we're having trouble mating him.

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You're having trouble
finding a female for Dino?

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Not really, we have matched Dino
up with several likely candidates,

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on a number of occasions.

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The trouble is that all efforts at
reproduction have been unsuccessful.

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I can hardly believe that.
After all,

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Dino here may-- may not be
the handsomest suitor I've ever seen,

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00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:08,218
but certainly a big gorilla like this...

128
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Well, we're not really sure yet
what the trouble is with Dino.

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Uh, it could just be shyness,
a natural reluctance,

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or even what
we would call impotence.

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Impotent?

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Okay, it's now 24 after the hour,

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and time for a review of the morning's
top story, with Tom Leclair.

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Thank you, Barbara.

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00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:39,916
Today's top story concerns a meeting
of OPEC ministers in Tehran yesterday.

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An anticipated 10% price hike

137
00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:44,337
across the board
on petroleum products--

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We've finally gotten through
to Ron Butler at the convention center,

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and I'm told that our audio hookup
is now operating.

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Go ahead, Ron.

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The balloting here has now
lasted almost three hours.

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As soon as the absentee ballots
have been tallied,

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we should have the result.

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00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:04,524
Ron, is there any hint at all
about a possible outcome?

145
00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:07,777
Well, I thought all along the teachers
would like to return to work,

146
00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:11,656
but, um, being a Gemini,
I just never know what to expect.

147
00:09:01,457 --> 00:09:04,501
More offensive than Mandingo!

148
00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:09,172
More shocking than
Behind the Green Door!

149
00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:13,009
More erotic than
Deep Throat!

150
00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:17,764
You will cream
in your jeans when you see:

151
00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:29,401
...recreating her classic roll.

152
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:33,363
And introducing
Susan Joyce and Nancy Reems.

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Susan, this is Nancy.

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Nancy, this is Susan.

155
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The screen has never dared
to be so explicit!

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Show me your nuts.

157
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Mrs. Burke!
I thought you were Dale!

158
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You know, people often mistake me
for my teenage daughter, Dale.

159
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Never before has the beauty
of the sexual act

160
00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:15,447
been so crassly exploited!

161
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The bizarre story of what happens
when high school girls

162
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are allowed to stay out after curfew.

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Finally an adult motion picture
has the courage to reveal

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00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:31,463
the truth about masturbation.

165
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You must see...

166
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How much is a ticket?

167
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,160
Three dollars.

168
00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:12,337
Thank you.

169
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:23,556
You are aware, this motion picture
is shown in "Feel-Around"?

170
00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:24,766
Yes.

171
00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:34,359
Can I help you?

172
00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,861
Yeah, I'd like some popcorn, please.

173
00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:43,535
One dollar.

174
00:11:47,456 --> 00:11:48,415
Thank you.

175
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,796
Come in. I'm in the den.

176
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:38,089
Guess who.

177
00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:40,633
Zsa Zsa Gabor.

178
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:44,596
Oh, Donald, you're always kidding.

179
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:47,766
I see you've started smoking again.

180
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I'm on another diet.

181
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,104
Oh.

182
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:58,401
And you didn't even
notice my perfume.

183
00:12:58,694 --> 00:12:59,944
Smell.

184
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,575
Very nice.

185
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,619
May I mix you a drink?

186
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:11,831
I propose a toast,
to you and me and the future.

187
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:19,088
Oh, darling, I'm so sorry.

188
00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:21,674
Let me get you a towel
or something.

189
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:29,140
Hey, Carol! Watch
where you swing that cigarette.

190
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,939
Here, let me put this Band-Aid
on your arm.

191
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,399
Oh, my poor baby.

192
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:43,279
I love to run my hands
through your hair.

193
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:50,495
And those big, strong,
broad shoulders!

194
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:55,458
And that curly hair
on your chest!

195
00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:56,668
It's...!

196
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,879
You're the only one, Carol.

197
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,675
- Oh, Carol! Oh!
- Donald!

198
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,345
Oh, Donald!

199
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:09,639
Donald?

200
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,015
Donald!

201
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:13,810
What's this?

202
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:16,145
Is this lipstick on your collar?

203
00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:18,314
Let me see!

204
00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:21,067
It is lipstick on your collar!

205
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,735
You cheat, you...

206
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,364
I could kill you!

207
00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:31,327
I could tear every hair
out of your insensitive head!

208
00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:34,372
Carol, put down that knife!

209
00:14:35,499 --> 00:14:37,750
All right, Donald.

210
00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:40,753
Tell me you love me
or I'll slit your throat.

211
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:44,549
I wouldn't tell you that
in a million years.

212
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:50,013
So you want to see your own blood,
is that it, Donald?

213
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:54,726
You can't scare me that easy.
I'm not afraid of spilling my own blood.

214
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:59,939
I-I can't do it.

215
00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:03,276
Oh, I can't do it.

216
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:08,031
Donald, forgive me, hmm?

217
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:11,034
I know you wouldn't do it, Carol.

218
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:14,704
That's why I want you to marry me.

219
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:17,040
Oh, Donald!

220
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:19,000
Oh, Carol!

221
00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:29,052
Ladies and gentlemen, the Rialto
"Feel-o-rama" invites you to stay

222
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:32,555
for our next feature-length
motion picture presentation,

223
00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:35,850
Deep Throat,
which will begin shortly.

224
00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:47,028
It's hard to believe
you went to bed with a headache,

225
00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:50,365
when you wake up feeling
so wonderful in the morning.

226
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:52,825
Say thanks to Nytex PM,

227
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:55,828
the pain reliever that works
while you sleep.

228
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:57,747
Nytex relaxes you,

229
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:01,125
relieves pain from
tension and minor discomfort,

230
00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:04,212
so you wake up feeling so wonderful,

231
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:07,590
refreshed and ready
to begin a new day.

232
00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:10,093
It's hard to believe
you went to bed with a headache

233
00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:13,638
when you wake up feeling
so wonderful in the morning.

234
00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:17,475
That's Nytex PM.
It's hard to believe.

235
00:16:25,734 --> 00:16:28,903
Hello.
Welcome to High Adventure.

236
00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:30,863
I'm Paul Burmaster.

237
00:16:31,156 --> 00:16:34,450
With us today is the famed
adventurer and explorer

238
00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:36,119
Claude Lamont.

239
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:38,621
Claude, it's such a pleasure
to have you with us.

240
00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:40,289
It's a great pleasure to be here.

241
00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:43,126
You know, it's such a thrill
to have someone with us

242
00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:45,128
who lives such great adventures.

243
00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:47,964
Yes, well, I live the unknown,

244
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:50,800
I love the unknown,
I am the unknown.

245
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:53,636
Claude, where are you living now?

246
00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:56,222
That is unknown.
I don't know.

247
00:16:56,515 --> 00:17:00,643
Claude, let me ask you about
the film we're going to see today.

248
00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:04,355
Now, I understand there was
great danger involved.

249
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:08,192
Yes, there were
a great many dangers involved.

250
00:17:08,485 --> 00:17:12,488
But perhaps the most dangerous
was the poisonous fish.

251
00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:14,824
- Poisonous fish?
- Poisonous fish.

252
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:17,326
- Poisonous fish.
- Continue, it is your show.

253
00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:19,037
No, you're my guest.

254
00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:24,917
The poisonous fish will
kill you faster than a bullet.

255
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:27,879
Where, uh... in what ocean
do we find these fish?

256
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:30,048
The Atlantic and the Pacific.

257
00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:33,301
I see. And, uh, what sizes are they?

258
00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:35,678
Some are very large,
others are very small.

259
00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:38,681
Well, that's very interesting.

260
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:41,100
Tell us, Claude,

261
00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:46,189
how many men do you take
with you on these voyages?

262
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:52,070
Sometimes, we will take as many as
45 or 50 men on a single voyage.

263
00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:54,113
- That many?
- Yes, that many.

264
00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:58,076
And you can just imagine
the food problems we have.

265
00:17:58,368 --> 00:18:01,370
Often-times, we must take
enough food for three,

266
00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:03,456
maybe four months at a time.

267
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,875
The important thing
is to eat well

268
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:08,377
and to eat on a regular basis.

269
00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:12,799
For if you don't eat
well balanced meals at sea,

270
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,426
several things can happen.

271
00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:29,607
By the way, many of you
may not know this,

272
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,442
but Claude Lamont has done many

273
00:18:31,735 --> 00:18:33,945
humanitarian deeds over
the past several years.

274
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:35,905
He is a teacher of scuba diving

275
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:39,408
and is involved
with several charities.

276
00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:43,621
Claude, you've done extensive work
with the great white shark.

277
00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:47,750
Have you verified this idea
of distinct territories?

278
00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:52,630
Oh, not only has this idea
been substantiated,

279
00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:56,968
we also have evidence to show
that few or no sharks

280
00:18:57,261 --> 00:19:00,429
will change territories.

281
00:19:00,722 --> 00:19:05,143
My guest for tonight has been
famed explorer Claude Lamont.

282
00:19:05,435 --> 00:19:08,271
This is Paul Burmaster,
thanking you for joining us on

283
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:10,898
High Adventure.

284
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,827
Moscow in flames.
Missiles headed toward New York.

285
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,537
Film at 11:00.

286
00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:28,833
Actor/director Bill Bixby.

287
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:33,963
I know that people must
feel their best to do their best.

288
00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:38,676
So when I'm on the set
and have headache pain,

289
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:40,469
I take Sanhedrin.

290
00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:43,681
Now, here at the world's
leading headache clinic,

291
00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:47,476
tests have proven
Sanhedrin's modern formula

292
00:19:47,769 --> 00:19:50,813
provides fast, effective
relief from pain of

293
00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:55,193
headache, cold,
or minor arthritic discomfort.

294
00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:57,653
It's safe and effective.

295
00:19:57,946 --> 00:20:01,282
So the next time you have a cold,
do what Bill Bixby does.

296
00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:05,203
Take Sanhedrin,
the extra-strength pain reliever.

297
00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:15,755
I remember the day the girls
came over for bridge club.

298
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:19,217
I was so embarrassed
because of lingering odors.

299
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:29,602
Fish for dinner last night?

300
00:20:34,441 --> 00:20:36,859
Harvey's still smoking
those cigars?

301
00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:43,741
Christ! Did a cow shit in here?

302
00:20:55,003 --> 00:20:56,963
You know, that was
a delicious dinner.

303
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,340
Well, I do my best.

304
00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:41,257
Welcome to
The Wonderful World of Sex,

305
00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:43,092
where together we will achieve

306
00:21:43,385 --> 00:21:47,096
a new and exciting level
of sexual fulfillment.

307
00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:48,931
After dimming the lights,

308
00:21:49,224 --> 00:21:52,101
give your partner a reassuring smile

309
00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:54,228
and a gentle kiss.

310
00:21:57,899 --> 00:22:02,153
Then, move to opposite areas
of the bedroom to disrobe.

311
00:22:08,035 --> 00:22:09,994
The revelation of erogenous Zones

312
00:22:10,287 --> 00:22:13,831
is an enticing prelude
to sexual foreplay

313
00:22:14,583 --> 00:22:16,584
Become aware of your own body

314
00:22:16,877 --> 00:22:21,047
as it readies itself for
the ultimate sensual awareness.

315
00:22:23,508 --> 00:22:27,386
It is now time to approach
your love partner,

316
00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:30,473
placing both hands
round her waist.

317
00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:33,309
Tenderly embracing the hips...

318
00:22:33,602 --> 00:22:37,313
moving smoothly up the torso,

319
00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:40,649
slowly massaging
the erotic areas,

320
00:22:40,942 --> 00:22:43,152
and gently exploring the curves

321
00:22:43,445 --> 00:22:45,488
of the upper body.

322
00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:48,824
There. Wasn't that nice?

323
00:22:49,117 --> 00:22:52,578
Now you are ready to approach
the conjugal bed,

324
00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:55,998
relaxing as you fill your senses,

325
00:22:56,291 --> 00:22:59,168
in your world of awareness.

326
00:22:59,461 --> 00:23:02,755
At this time, the male
may whisper to the female,

327
00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:05,758
(A) I love you,

328
00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:08,636
(B) I need you,

329
00:23:08,929 --> 00:23:11,972
or (C) I want you.

330
00:23:12,265 --> 00:23:13,182
"B."

331
00:23:13,475 --> 00:23:17,019
The female may respond
by repeating, "I want you now."

332
00:23:17,312 --> 00:23:18,521
I want you now.

333
00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:21,565
- "I want you now."
- I want you now.

334
00:23:21,858 --> 00:23:23,818
"Recuerdos a todos."

335
00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:25,820
Recuerdos a todos.

336
00:23:31,201 --> 00:23:34,662
It is now time to insert
the birth control device.

337
00:24:25,922 --> 00:24:27,840
And we're back.

338
00:24:31,386 --> 00:24:35,598
We are now ready to heighten
our foreplay to petting.

339
00:24:35,891 --> 00:24:39,268
The male may fondle
her back and arms.

340
00:24:39,561 --> 00:24:42,313
The female, if she is so inclined,

341
00:24:42,606 --> 00:24:44,648
may latch on to his honker.

342
00:24:45,734 --> 00:24:48,903
Now he may kiss her gently
on the face and neck,

343
00:24:49,196 --> 00:24:51,614
seeking out the erogenous Zones.

344
00:24:56,369 --> 00:24:58,954
The kissing should be
increasingly passionate,

345
00:24:59,247 --> 00:25:03,167
with both partners
working into a sexual frenzy.

346
00:25:06,922 --> 00:25:10,633
One of the most frequent problems
encountered during the sexual act

347
00:25:10,926 --> 00:25:13,677
is that of premature ejaculation.

348
00:25:16,097 --> 00:25:18,891
Should premature ejaculation occur,

349
00:25:19,184 --> 00:25:21,644
The Joy of Sex album
comes equipped with...

350
00:25:21,937 --> 00:25:24,063
Big Jim Slade!

351
00:25:28,109 --> 00:25:30,152
Big Jim, tight end
for the Kansas City Chiefs,

352
00:25:30,445 --> 00:25:32,112
is outfitted with various whips, chains,

353
00:25:32,405 --> 00:25:34,573
and a sexual appetite
that will knock your socks off.

354
00:25:34,866 --> 00:25:36,825
Big Jim has satisfied women
throughout the world,

355
00:25:37,118 --> 00:25:39,745
and the capital of Nebraska
is Lincoln!

356
00:26:05,146 --> 00:26:06,564
Three days ago,

357
00:26:06,856 --> 00:26:09,650
Russian intelligence
sent up this photograph,

358
00:26:09,943 --> 00:26:13,487
clearly at least a thirty-
megaton nuclear blast.

359
00:26:14,656 --> 00:26:17,700
First reports from CIA
linked it with the Red Chinese.

360
00:26:17,993 --> 00:26:23,622
However, Radio Peking
subsequently denied the allegation.

361
00:26:24,874 --> 00:26:27,126
These are the Hartz mountains of Asia,

362
00:26:27,419 --> 00:26:31,797
a terrain so rugged, so treacherous,
no country will claim it.

363
00:26:32,090 --> 00:26:33,132
Worse than Detroit?

364
00:26:33,425 --> 00:26:34,925
I'm afraid so.

365
00:26:36,011 --> 00:26:39,430
Here, Dr. Klahn
has built his fortress.

366
00:26:39,723 --> 00:26:40,764
Klahn?

367
00:26:41,057 --> 00:26:42,891
Yes. Klahn has been connected

368
00:26:43,184 --> 00:26:46,770
with every sort of
nefarious activity, you name it:

369
00:26:47,063 --> 00:26:49,690
Opium, weapons traffic,
assassination,

370
00:26:49,983 --> 00:26:51,859
motion picture distribution...

371
00:26:52,152 --> 00:26:53,652
And global extortion.

372
00:26:53,945 --> 00:26:56,655
Precisely. Klahn has kidnapped

373
00:26:56,948 --> 00:26:59,241
the famous Chinese
nuclear physicist

374
00:26:59,534 --> 00:27:01,619
Professor Ada Gronik,

375
00:27:01,911 --> 00:27:05,497
and intends to use
her knowledge of atomic devices

376
00:27:05,790 --> 00:27:08,876
to create a practical detonator,

377
00:27:09,169 --> 00:27:12,755
with which he will then
threaten the world.

378
00:27:13,048 --> 00:27:17,134
This is Butkus, Klahn's bodyguard.

379
00:27:17,427 --> 00:27:19,470
He is tough and ruthless.

380
00:27:20,930 --> 00:27:23,766
This is Kwong, Klahn's chauffeur.

381
00:27:24,059 --> 00:27:26,226
He's rough and toothless.

382
00:27:26,519 --> 00:27:29,271
We need someone to find
an uncharted mountain,

383
00:27:29,564 --> 00:27:31,607
defeat an army of deadly killers,

384
00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:34,234
and come back with Ada Gronik.

385
00:27:34,527 --> 00:27:36,403
I know just the man.

386
00:28:47,809 --> 00:28:50,728
I hope you were paying attention.

387
00:28:57,360 --> 00:28:58,569
Kick me.

388
00:29:07,704 --> 00:29:08,829
What was that?

389
00:29:09,914 --> 00:29:12,416
This is not a charade.

390
00:29:12,709 --> 00:29:16,211
We need total concentration.

391
00:29:17,338 --> 00:29:19,214
Now, once again.

392
00:29:19,507 --> 00:29:23,051
This time, with feeling.

393
00:29:29,684 --> 00:29:30,768
Better.

394
00:29:40,528 --> 00:29:44,031
My government is prepared
to offer you £50,000

395
00:29:44,324 --> 00:29:46,533
to join Klahn's army
as our agent.

396
00:29:49,412 --> 00:29:52,915
I'm afraid you underestimate me,
Mr. Pennington.

397
00:29:53,208 --> 00:29:55,834
Your people and mine
have a different set of values.

398
00:29:56,878 --> 00:29:59,087
Mr. Loo, you must understand,

399
00:29:59,380 --> 00:30:01,799
the survival
of the free world is at stake.

400
00:30:02,091 --> 00:30:04,343
You must understand,
Mr. Pennington,

401
00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:08,722
geographical boundaries
are of no significance to me.

402
00:30:09,015 --> 00:30:12,434
I owe my allegiance
to a higher source.

403
00:30:13,770 --> 00:30:17,147
But you'll have the chance
to kill fifty, maybe sixty people.

404
00:30:40,004 --> 00:30:43,632
Hello. My name is Ming Chow.

405
00:30:43,925 --> 00:30:46,343
You are joining a noble leader.

406
00:32:35,453 --> 00:32:38,080
Gentlemen, welcome.

407
00:32:38,373 --> 00:32:41,083
We are honoured
to have you among us.

408
00:32:41,793 --> 00:32:43,418
We are building a fighting force

409
00:32:43,711 --> 00:32:47,255
of extraordinary magnitude.

410
00:32:47,548 --> 00:32:49,174
We forge our spirits

411
00:32:49,467 --> 00:32:52,761
in the tradition of our ancestors.

412
00:32:53,054 --> 00:32:55,806
You have our gratitude.

413
00:33:30,133 --> 00:33:32,676
Now, bring me the prisoners!

414
00:33:50,445 --> 00:33:53,196
Now, take him to be tortured!

415
00:33:59,454 --> 00:34:01,705
And as for my American friend,

416
00:34:01,998 --> 00:34:04,750
the CIA thinks it can infiltrate

417
00:34:05,043 --> 00:34:06,835
the mountain of Dr. Klahn?

418
00:34:07,128 --> 00:34:09,963
You can't scare me,
you slant-eyed yellow bastard!

419
00:34:12,592 --> 00:34:14,551
Take him to Detroit.

420
00:34:16,012 --> 00:34:18,096
No! Not Detroit!

421
00:34:18,389 --> 00:34:20,640
No, please! Anything but that!

422
00:34:22,602 --> 00:34:26,229
This way, gentlemen.
I'll show you to your rooms.

423
00:34:34,197 --> 00:34:39,034
Hello, this is Dr. Klahn.
I'm not home right now.

424
00:34:39,327 --> 00:34:41,953
Leave a message
when you hear the beep.

425
00:34:42,246 --> 00:34:44,372
You have our gratitude.

426
00:35:04,310 --> 00:35:05,435
Come in.

427
00:35:11,150 --> 00:35:13,318
I have come to rescue you.

428
00:35:13,611 --> 00:35:15,237
Where do you come from?

429
00:35:15,530 --> 00:35:16,655
Pennington, of the...

430
00:35:19,075 --> 00:35:22,744
How was your trip
to the mountain, Mr. Loo?

431
00:35:23,037 --> 00:35:26,498
It was a very pleasant journey.

432
00:35:26,791 --> 00:35:30,627
You are fortunate. The seas can
be very stormy this time of year.

433
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:34,714
I hope your accommodations
are to your liking.

434
00:35:36,592 --> 00:35:39,845
Dr. Klahn has a great
sense of hospitality.

435
00:35:41,222 --> 00:35:44,641
Have you ever been in
a martial arts army like this?

436
00:35:45,643 --> 00:35:48,103
Not for quite some time.

437
00:35:48,396 --> 00:35:51,106
I'm sure you'll find
the caliber of men here

438
00:35:51,399 --> 00:35:53,650
among the finest in the world.

439
00:35:55,069 --> 00:35:58,446
We're building a fighting force
of extraordinary magnitude.

440
00:35:58,739 --> 00:36:00,532
You honour our mountain.

441
00:36:00,825 --> 00:36:04,661
We forge our spirits in the
tradition of our ancestors.

442
00:36:06,956 --> 00:36:09,708
The guards will have to be bribed.
We'll need money.

443
00:36:10,001 --> 00:36:12,419
We can raise some money.
That's no problem.

444
00:36:16,757 --> 00:36:19,676
But it would be wrong!

445
00:37:07,266 --> 00:37:08,642
What was that?

446
00:37:09,393 --> 00:37:12,020
This is not a charade.

447
00:37:12,313 --> 00:37:15,899
We need total concentration.

448
00:37:17,944 --> 00:37:19,277
Now, try again.

449
00:38:18,671 --> 00:38:21,506
I've brought you a present.
Take your pick.

450
00:38:28,973 --> 00:38:30,932
If you don't see anything you like...

451
00:39:23,944 --> 00:39:26,154
And if you'll follow me
through this hallway,

452
00:39:26,447 --> 00:39:28,490
we are now entering
the Haybrick wing,

453
00:39:28,783 --> 00:39:30,658
where the opium goes
through its final processing

454
00:39:30,951 --> 00:39:34,079
prior to packaging
and world wide distribution.

455
00:39:34,372 --> 00:39:36,331
We manufacture enough heroin here

456
00:39:36,624 --> 00:39:39,959
to supply fully one-fourth
of the world's addicts.

457
00:39:40,252 --> 00:39:44,339
The tanks to your left store our
biological chemicals for germ warfare,

458
00:39:44,632 --> 00:39:47,801
each with a capacity
of4,000 cubic liters.

459
00:39:48,094 --> 00:39:50,428
To my right
is the atomic detonator

460
00:39:50,721 --> 00:39:54,474
with which the Dr. Klahn intends
to threaten the entire world.

461
00:39:55,351 --> 00:39:56,768
Are there any questions?

462
00:39:57,686 --> 00:39:59,354
No? Good. Follow me.

463
00:39:59,647 --> 00:40:01,523
We remind you
to stay near the white line,

464
00:40:01,816 --> 00:40:04,692
and request you refrain
from using flash bulbs.

465
00:40:54,034 --> 00:40:55,660
A toy robot!

466
00:41:04,044 --> 00:41:05,587
A toy robot?

467
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:07,797
Eat lead, sucker!

468
00:42:45,020 --> 00:42:46,896
You have my gratitude.

469
00:42:47,189 --> 00:42:50,900
You are a man of
extraordinary magnitude.

470
00:43:19,138 --> 00:43:20,221
Come in.

471
00:44:41,220 --> 00:44:45,723
Your technique is only surpassed
by your courage, Mr. Loo.

472
00:44:46,809 --> 00:44:49,185
A magnificent display of skill.

473
00:44:50,270 --> 00:44:52,522
I am flattered by your curiosity.

474
00:44:52,815 --> 00:44:57,360
Evidently, you are anxious
to see my operation.

475
00:45:07,955 --> 00:45:09,205
And who are they?

476
00:45:09,498 --> 00:45:12,667
Refuse, found in waterfront bars.

477
00:45:15,129 --> 00:45:16,212
Shanghaied?

478
00:45:16,505 --> 00:45:18,673
Just lost drunken men
who don't know where they are,

479
00:45:18,966 --> 00:45:20,717
and no longer care.

480
00:45:22,761 --> 00:45:24,512
Where are we?

481
00:45:24,805 --> 00:45:26,723
I don't care.

482
00:45:29,101 --> 00:45:30,184
And these?

483
00:45:30,477 --> 00:45:33,020
These are lost drunken men
who don't know where they are,

484
00:45:33,313 --> 00:45:35,273
but do care.

485
00:45:35,566 --> 00:45:39,861
And these are men who know where
they are and care, but don't drink.

486
00:45:40,154 --> 00:45:42,697
Where am I?
I don't know where I am!

487
00:45:42,990 --> 00:45:44,157
Yeah. And I don't drink.

488
00:45:44,450 --> 00:45:45,533
Guards!

489
00:45:52,499 --> 00:45:54,292
- Do you care?
- No.

490
00:45:54,585 --> 00:45:57,378
Put this man in cell number one,
and give him a drink.

491
00:45:58,505 --> 00:46:00,965
- What do you drink?
- I don't care.

492
00:46:07,973 --> 00:46:08,973
Gentlemen.

493
00:46:09,266 --> 00:46:12,727
Regretfully, we have
discovered among us

494
00:46:13,020 --> 00:46:15,188
am unfriendly Visitor.

495
00:46:16,023 --> 00:46:19,525
Mr. Loo will be punished
for his treason.

496
00:46:19,818 --> 00:46:22,862
But that is not important right now.

497
00:46:23,155 --> 00:46:26,574
What is important is that my
guards have accepted bribes

498
00:46:26,867 --> 00:46:30,244
and failed in their duties.

499
00:46:30,537 --> 00:46:33,748
Now, they must prove
themselves worthy

500
00:46:34,041 --> 00:46:35,792
to remain among us.

501
00:46:36,877 --> 00:46:39,128
Let us meet our guards.

502
00:46:43,258 --> 00:46:45,426
Guard number one is
a senior on Klahn's mountain

503
00:46:45,719 --> 00:46:47,428
and aspires
to be a research chemist.

504
00:46:47,721 --> 00:46:50,264
Welcome please, Hung Well!

505
00:46:54,228 --> 00:46:56,145
Guard number two
is a real skating buff.

506
00:46:56,438 --> 00:46:59,816
A warm welcome for Long Wang!

507
00:47:03,654 --> 00:47:05,446
Traveling comes naturally
to guard number three,

508
00:47:05,739 --> 00:47:07,448
as he's a licensed airplane pilot.

509
00:47:07,741 --> 00:47:10,827
Welcome, please,
Enormous Genitals!

510
00:47:16,917 --> 00:47:19,460
Guard number one,
you're out on your first date.

511
00:47:19,753 --> 00:47:23,381
It is too late to see a movie.
What do you propose to do?

512
00:47:23,674 --> 00:47:24,715
Well...

513
00:47:25,008 --> 00:47:28,719
First, we walk along the beach
in the moonlight.

514
00:47:29,012 --> 00:47:32,098
Then I'll play love songs
on my guitar,

515
00:47:32,391 --> 00:47:33,558
and the next morning...

516
00:47:33,851 --> 00:47:34,517
Butkus!

517
00:47:38,730 --> 00:47:39,814
Guard number two...

518
00:47:41,066 --> 00:47:45,278
if I were asleep
and you were my alarm clock,

519
00:47:45,571 --> 00:47:47,446
how would you wake me up
in the morning?

520
00:47:47,739 --> 00:47:50,408
I wouldn't. I'm no ding-a-ling.

521
00:47:50,701 --> 00:47:51,325
Butkus!

522
00:47:55,998 --> 00:47:59,458
How about you, number three?
The same question.

523
00:47:59,751 --> 00:48:03,504
We're building a fighting force
of extraordinary magnitude.

524
00:48:04,464 --> 00:48:08,009
We forge our spirits in the same
tradition as our ancestors.

525
00:48:08,302 --> 00:48:12,513
Dr. Klahn is magnificent leader.
He has our gratitude.

526
00:48:12,806 --> 00:48:14,724
Let's all give Dr. Klahn
a great big hand!

527
00:48:17,978 --> 00:48:18,728
Butkus!

528
00:48:32,993 --> 00:48:35,953
Are you ready for this morning's
exercise, Mr. Loo?

529
00:48:37,623 --> 00:48:38,706
Butkus!

530
00:54:17,003 --> 00:54:17,920
No!

531
00:54:18,838 --> 00:54:21,799
No! Not water!

532
00:54:29,849 --> 00:54:32,268
I'm melting! I'm melting!

533
00:54:33,186 --> 00:54:36,063
What a world! What a world!

534
00:54:36,356 --> 00:54:39,775
It was a fighting force
of extraordinary magnitude!

535
00:54:43,863 --> 00:54:45,781
Congratulations, Mr. Loo.

536
00:54:46,074 --> 00:54:48,284
Your mission is a complete success.

537
00:54:48,576 --> 00:54:51,412
Since you are responsible
for the death of Dr. Klahn,

538
00:54:51,705 --> 00:54:56,500
you may assume the rights
to the fortress and all its riches.

539
00:54:57,794 --> 00:54:59,920
Thank you, Mr. Pennington.

540
00:55:00,213 --> 00:55:03,507
But all I wanna do right now
is to go back home.

541
00:55:04,718 --> 00:55:06,176
Back to Kansas.

542
00:55:06,469 --> 00:55:07,761
But my dear fellow,

543
00:55:08,054 --> 00:55:11,223
you've had the power
to go back home all along.

544
00:55:11,516 --> 00:55:12,599
I have?

545
00:55:12,892 --> 00:55:16,770
All you have to do is click
your heels together three times

546
00:55:17,063 --> 00:55:20,649
and say, "There's
no place like home."

547
00:55:27,741 --> 00:55:44,840
There's no place like home.

548
00:55:48,386 --> 00:55:49,470
Loo...

549
00:55:49,763 --> 00:55:52,639
Wake up! Wake up!

550
00:55:55,477 --> 00:55:56,727
Auntie Em!

551
00:55:58,772 --> 00:55:59,855
Toto!

552
00:56:01,941 --> 00:56:02,983
I'm home at last.

553
00:56:03,276 --> 00:56:05,486
Oh, you must have had
a bad dream.

554
00:56:05,779 --> 00:56:08,989
No, I was there.

555
00:56:09,282 --> 00:56:10,616
Where were you?

556
00:56:11,451 --> 00:56:14,370
I was on this terrible mountain
ruled by the evil Dr. Klahn.

557
00:56:14,662 --> 00:56:16,497
And there were prisoners, and...

558
00:56:16,790 --> 00:56:17,873
Jake was there and...

559
00:56:19,959 --> 00:56:21,919
Slim, and Ben.

560
00:56:25,465 --> 00:56:27,299
Maybe it was just a dream.

561
00:56:27,592 --> 00:56:29,510
And quite a nasty one, young feller!

562
00:56:29,803 --> 00:56:32,554
It was a dream
of extraordinary magnitude.

563
00:56:34,808 --> 00:56:37,393
- Sure was real.
- I know, dear.

564
00:56:37,685 --> 00:56:40,354
But what have you learned
from all of this?

565
00:56:40,647 --> 00:56:42,356
Well...

566
00:56:42,649 --> 00:56:45,234
you can search
all over for happiness...

567
00:56:46,319 --> 00:56:50,197
but there's really no need to look
any further than your own front door.

568
00:56:50,490 --> 00:56:53,575
There are plenty of things you can do
right here in your own community.

569
00:56:55,662 --> 00:56:57,496
You could visit a dairy

570
00:56:57,789 --> 00:57:00,916
and find out how milk is handled
and prepared for delivery.

571
00:57:02,001 --> 00:57:05,212
Or plan a series of window displays
on home safety.

572
00:57:05,505 --> 00:57:07,381
Or help start a library.

573
00:57:07,674 --> 00:57:09,049
You could discuss with your dentist

574
00:57:09,342 --> 00:57:11,385
what you could do
to make your teeth more attractive.

575
00:57:30,947 --> 00:57:34,074
You've just sold
your last case of incense

576
00:57:34,367 --> 00:57:36,827
and pestered over sixty pedestrians.

577
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:40,789
After a grueling day,
you finally run out of leaflets.

578
00:57:41,082 --> 00:57:43,584
Now it's Willer time.

579
00:57:43,877 --> 00:57:45,586
Time to kick off your sandals

580
00:57:45,879 --> 00:57:48,422
and pop open a Willer:

581
00:57:48,715 --> 00:57:52,718
the best taste in beer since 1892.

582
00:57:53,011 --> 00:57:55,846
When it's time to relax
after a tough day,

583
00:57:56,139 --> 00:58:00,684
you owe yourself
the best-tasting beer you can find.

584
00:58:00,977 --> 00:58:02,561
It goes down easy.

585
00:58:02,854 --> 00:58:06,899
It's cool, refreshing
and far less filling.

586
00:58:07,192 --> 00:58:08,442
- Hare rama.
- Hare rama.

587
00:58:08,735 --> 00:58:12,029
You're only reincarnated
six or seven times in life,

588
00:58:12,322 --> 00:58:15,782
so you've got to reach
for all the gusto you can.

589
00:58:19,787 --> 00:58:22,539
Rams plagued by fumbles
as earthquakes rock Los Angeles.

590
00:58:22,832 --> 00:58:24,124
Film at 11:00.

591
00:58:26,127 --> 00:58:29,421
New from Barker Brothers,
a game for the entire family:

592
00:58:29,714 --> 00:58:30,631
Scot Free.

593
00:58:30,924 --> 00:58:32,799
Your team has just
assassinated the president.

594
00:58:33,092 --> 00:58:35,677
Can you get away "Scot Free"?

595
00:58:35,970 --> 00:58:37,763
Shake the dice and see.

596
00:58:38,056 --> 00:58:41,016
Great! You found a patsy.
Go again.

597
00:58:44,354 --> 00:58:46,021
Bonus card.

598
00:58:46,314 --> 00:58:48,440
You get Jack Ruby to kill your patsy.

599
00:58:48,733 --> 00:58:51,485
That's good because
dead men don't talk.

600
00:58:51,778 --> 00:58:54,112
Oh, no! Abraham Zapruder
films the assassination.

601
00:58:54,405 --> 00:58:56,990
Tough break.
But now you go again.

602
00:58:57,283 --> 00:58:58,283
And a stroke of luck--

603
00:58:58,576 --> 00:59:01,787
twenty-two material witnesses
die of unnatural causes.

604
00:59:02,080 --> 00:59:03,455
Now your opponent shakes again.

605
00:59:03,748 --> 00:59:04,790
Uh-oh, look out!

606
00:59:05,083 --> 00:59:07,334
Life magazine
buys the Zapruder film,

607
00:59:07,627 --> 00:59:09,253
but you buy Life magazine

608
00:59:09,546 --> 00:59:11,797
and show the frames out of sequence!

609
00:59:12,090 --> 00:59:15,717
You're almost home. Now you must
spin the Public Opinion board.

610
00:59:16,553 --> 00:59:18,512
You've done it!
The public believes it.

611
00:59:18,805 --> 00:59:21,557
You're Scot Free!
Available from Barker Brothers.

612
00:59:23,518 --> 00:59:28,105
If you were thrilled by
The Towering Inferno,

613
00:59:28,398 --> 00:59:31,358
if you were terrified
by Earthquake,

614
00:59:33,319 --> 00:59:36,863
then you will be
scared shitless

615
00:59:37,156 --> 00:59:40,617
by the Samuel L. Bronkowitz
production of...

616
00:59:44,038 --> 00:59:47,749
The most realistic depiction
of death, doom, and destruction

617
00:59:48,042 --> 00:59:49,876
in motion picture history.

618
00:59:50,169 --> 00:59:53,589
See George Lazenby
as the architect.

619
00:59:53,881 --> 00:59:56,592
I tell you, this building is unsafe!

620
00:59:58,678 --> 01:00:01,597
Barbara Radnitz as the nurse.

621
01:00:05,852 --> 01:00:08,270
Jack Roberts as the governor.

622
01:00:08,563 --> 01:00:09,938
Governor, the city's in flames,

623
01:00:10,231 --> 01:00:12,899
the National Guard's
powerless to deal with the situation,

624
01:00:13,192 --> 01:00:14,568
the dam is threatening to burst,

625
01:00:14,861 --> 01:00:16,945
the airport has been
seized by terrorists,

626
01:00:17,238 --> 01:00:19,906
and the nuclear power plant's
is about to blow any second!

627
01:00:20,199 --> 01:00:23,201
Governor, what are we going to do?

628
01:00:26,873 --> 01:00:30,751
Donald Sutherland
as the clumsy waiter.

629
01:00:36,841 --> 01:00:39,009
Larry, you can't go in there!
It's certain death!

630
01:00:39,302 --> 01:00:41,094
But I've got to, for Helen's sake!

631
01:00:41,387 --> 01:00:43,305
But, Larry! Oh, Jesus!

632
01:00:45,725 --> 01:00:46,725
Leave her.

633
01:00:47,018 --> 01:00:48,602
Come back to Montana with me.

634
01:00:48,895 --> 01:00:50,937
I could no sooner
run away from her than myself.

635
01:00:51,230 --> 01:00:54,399
I'm not asking you to run,
I'm asking you to face reality!

636
01:00:54,692 --> 01:00:56,443
Whose reality, yours or mine?

637
01:00:56,736 --> 01:00:58,862
My reality and yours,
that's whose!

638
01:00:59,155 --> 01:01:00,280
What are you saying?

639
01:01:00,573 --> 01:01:02,699
Leave her! Come back
to Montana with me!

640
01:01:02,992 --> 01:01:05,077
I could no more run away from her
than I could run away from myself!

641
01:01:05,370 --> 01:01:08,288
I'm not asking you to run,
I'm asking you to face reality!

642
01:01:08,581 --> 01:01:09,790
Whose reality, yours or mine?

643
01:01:10,083 --> 01:01:12,542
My reality and yours, that's whose!

644
01:01:12,835 --> 01:01:14,169
What are you saying?

645
01:01:17,590 --> 01:01:20,467
Larry, we're going now!

646
01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:21,802
Whose games?

647
01:01:22,095 --> 01:01:24,012
You know damn well whose games.

648
01:01:26,974 --> 01:01:29,017
Larry, we're starting the engines.

649
01:01:30,311 --> 01:01:32,938
You will never forget...

650
01:01:36,859 --> 01:01:39,111
You know damn well what I'm saying!

651
01:01:40,780 --> 01:01:44,866
In the past year,
over 800,000 Americans have died.

652
01:01:45,159 --> 01:01:47,285
Despite millions of dollars of research,

653
01:01:47,578 --> 01:01:50,622
death continues to be
our nation's number one killer.

654
01:01:50,915 --> 01:01:52,874
Hello, I'm Henry Gibson,

655
01:01:53,167 --> 01:01:56,670
speaking to you on behalf of
the United Appeal for the Dead.

656
01:01:56,963 --> 01:02:00,590
Although so far there is no known
treatment for death's crippling effects,

657
01:02:00,883 --> 01:02:05,637
still, everyone can acquaint himself
with the warning signs of death:

658
01:02:13,229 --> 01:02:15,939
It is also important to know
what to do when you die.

659
01:02:24,490 --> 01:02:28,827
Your past contributions to this cause
have already worked wonders.

660
01:02:29,120 --> 01:02:31,329
Many deserving families
have been helped.

661
01:02:31,622 --> 01:02:34,624
Right now, I'd like you
to meet the Hefsteders.

662
01:02:35,376 --> 01:02:37,711
Three years ago, our Johnny died.

663
01:02:38,004 --> 01:02:39,546
We thought that there was no hope,

664
01:02:39,839 --> 01:02:42,507
but then we discovered
the United Appeal for the Dead.

665
01:02:42,800 --> 01:02:45,093
They showed us that despite
Johnny's handicap,

666
01:02:45,386 --> 01:02:48,638
he could still be a useful member of
our family and the community.

667
01:02:48,931 --> 01:02:51,600
Our United Appeal for the Dead
caseworker

668
01:02:51,893 --> 01:02:54,895
showed us that the absence
of life from Johnny's body

669
01:02:55,188 --> 01:02:58,440
didn't have to mean his absence
from our daily lives.

670
01:03:00,193 --> 01:03:03,528
We realized the constant joy
that could be ours,

671
01:03:03,821 --> 01:03:07,115
as we were able to include him
in our family activities.

672
01:03:08,826 --> 01:03:12,078
The United Appeal for the Dead
turned misery into happiness.

673
01:03:12,371 --> 01:03:16,583
We have them to thank for
our family's new found togetherness.

674
01:03:17,376 --> 01:03:18,960
This is Henry Gibson saying,

675
01:03:19,253 --> 01:03:22,798
please, give generously
when death knocks at your door.

676
01:03:25,218 --> 01:03:27,928
No pictures.
No pictures, please.

677
01:03:28,763 --> 01:03:30,931
I said no pictures,
and no comments.

678
01:03:33,100 --> 01:03:34,142
I said no pictures.

679
01:03:47,907 --> 01:03:50,408
On September 22nd, 1957,

680
01:03:50,701 --> 01:03:52,786
there occurred a multi-car collision

681
01:03:53,079 --> 01:03:56,790
resulting in over
$55,000 in damages.

682
01:03:57,083 --> 01:04:00,669
Today we bring you the trial
resulting from that incident.

683
01:04:00,962 --> 01:04:03,296
The litigants you will see
are the actual people

684
01:04:03,589 --> 01:04:05,173
involved in the accident.

685
01:04:05,466 --> 01:04:08,885
As we join the proceedings,
Judge Colus D. Smizer

686
01:04:09,178 --> 01:04:12,889
is about to ask Mr. Hornung
to make his opening remarks.

687
01:04:13,182 --> 01:04:16,518
Mr. Hornung, you may make
your opening remarks.

688
01:04:18,271 --> 01:04:21,648
If it pleases the court,
ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

689
01:04:21,941 --> 01:04:23,650
it is my intention to prove here today,

690
01:04:23,943 --> 01:04:27,654
that on the evening
of February 22nd, 1957,

691
01:04:27,947 --> 01:04:29,906
Sheldon Grunwald
was driving his vehicle

692
01:04:30,199 --> 01:04:32,993
in the northbound lane
of U.S. Highway 30

693
01:04:33,286 --> 01:04:36,037
when the rear of his automobile
was struck from behind

694
01:04:36,330 --> 01:04:40,166
by a car driven by the defendant,
Ms. Rita Filagree.

695
01:04:40,459 --> 01:04:44,504
In conclusion, Your Honor,
I would like the jury

696
01:04:44,797 --> 01:04:46,339
to listen to a tape.

697
01:04:52,471 --> 01:04:55,682
Hey, Wally, being in court
is really neat stuff.

698
01:04:55,975 --> 01:04:57,350
Knock it off will ya, Beave?

699
01:04:57,643 --> 01:04:59,352
We don't want
the judge to yell at us.

700
01:04:59,645 --> 01:05:02,355
Defense attorney Taylor,
are you prepared with your case?

701
01:05:02,648 --> 01:05:03,648
Yes I am, Your Honor.

702
01:05:03,941 --> 01:05:05,400
Then call your first witness.

703
01:05:13,826 --> 01:05:16,077
The number of a Sheldon Grunwald.

704
01:05:16,370 --> 01:05:18,705
Oh, that-- that's me, right here.

705
01:05:18,998 --> 01:05:21,416
Never mind, operator,
I found him myself.

706
01:05:22,668 --> 01:05:23,877
Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth,

707
01:05:24,170 --> 01:05:26,212
the whole truth,
and nothing but the truth?

708
01:05:27,256 --> 01:05:28,381
I do.

709
01:05:28,674 --> 01:05:29,716
You've made me so happy!

710
01:05:35,306 --> 01:05:39,392
We'll tell you only that Mr. Grunwald
is salaried, deals in a service,

711
01:05:39,685 --> 01:05:41,686
and we'll start the questioning
with Mr. Hornung.

712
01:05:41,979 --> 01:05:44,856
Mr. Grunwald, would I be more likely
to use your service

713
01:05:45,149 --> 01:05:47,067
than... let's say, my wife?

714
01:05:47,360 --> 01:05:48,276
No.

715
01:05:48,569 --> 01:05:51,529
That's five down
and forty-five to go.

716
01:05:51,822 --> 01:05:53,156
Mr. Taylor.

717
01:05:53,449 --> 01:05:55,575
I think I'll pass to Arlene.

718
01:05:55,868 --> 01:05:57,744
I'm sorry, we're running short of time.

719
01:05:58,037 --> 01:05:59,746
We'll flip all the cards now,

720
01:06:00,039 --> 01:06:03,291
and I'll tell you that, in fact,
Mr. Grunwald is a spoon.

721
01:06:13,594 --> 01:06:14,844
Mr. Grunwald,

722
01:06:15,137 --> 01:06:18,473
in addition to your occupation
as a spool, is it not true...

723
01:06:18,766 --> 01:06:20,767
No, no. Spoon!

724
01:06:21,060 --> 01:06:22,560
Ah, yes, spoon.

725
01:06:24,355 --> 01:06:26,606
Of course, "spool"
doesn't make much sense.

726
01:06:26,899 --> 01:06:31,695
Mr. Grunwald, in addition
to your occupation as a spoon,

727
01:06:32,530 --> 01:06:35,657
is it not true that
you're a driving instructor?

728
01:06:35,950 --> 01:06:37,033
No.

729
01:06:37,868 --> 01:06:39,828
- Then it is true?
- Yes.

730
01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:42,372
That you're not
a driving instructor?

731
01:06:42,665 --> 01:06:44,374
No.

732
01:06:44,667 --> 01:06:46,376
Your Honor, I object
to this line of questioning.

733
01:06:46,669 --> 01:06:47,836
Overruled.

734
01:06:48,129 --> 01:06:50,213
Very well, then. I'd like some time
to go over my briefs.

735
01:06:50,506 --> 01:06:51,673
Please.

736
01:06:55,636 --> 01:06:56,678
They're fine.

737
01:06:57,805 --> 01:06:59,472
Your witness, counsel.

738
01:07:00,307 --> 01:07:02,809
Would you please state
your first name.

739
01:07:06,731 --> 01:07:07,772
Sheldon.

740
01:07:08,858 --> 01:07:10,567
Mr. Grunwald,

741
01:07:10,860 --> 01:07:13,987
what does... that exactly mean?

742
01:07:14,280 --> 01:07:16,823
Happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you

743
01:07:17,116 --> 01:07:19,659
Happy birthday dear... Sheldon.

744
01:07:24,081 --> 01:07:25,874
Mr. Grunwald,

745
01:07:26,167 --> 01:07:29,836
would you kindly tell the court
the fabric of which your shirt is made?

746
01:07:30,129 --> 01:07:32,797
I object, Your Honor!
That shirt is immaterial.

747
01:07:33,090 --> 01:07:34,674
Sustained.

748
01:07:34,967 --> 01:07:36,092
Very well, then.

749
01:07:36,385 --> 01:07:38,511
Mr. Grunwald, would you
please follow me

750
01:07:38,804 --> 01:07:40,555
to the south end of the courtroom.

751
01:07:43,726 --> 01:07:45,769
Objection, Your Honor!
The counsel is leading the witness.

752
01:07:46,062 --> 01:07:47,103
Sustained.

753
01:07:47,396 --> 01:07:50,899
Mr. Hornung, Mr. Taylor,
approach the bench.

754
01:07:54,361 --> 01:07:56,529
While the judge confers
with the attorneys,

755
01:07:56,822 --> 01:07:59,574
let's pause for this brief message.

756
01:08:04,163 --> 01:08:06,122
Well, what's our little skeptic
doing today?

757
01:08:06,415 --> 01:08:09,167
She's frying the cat
in pure Nesson oil.

758
01:08:15,091 --> 01:08:19,135
At this time, the judge will ask
Mr. Hornung to show relevance.

759
01:08:19,428 --> 01:08:23,598
Now, Mr. Hornung, you are
going to have to show relevance.

760
01:08:23,891 --> 01:08:26,351
Not only will I show relevance,

761
01:08:26,644 --> 01:08:29,604
I will show how these facts
relate to the case.

762
01:08:34,693 --> 01:08:37,070
I call to the stand...

763
01:08:37,363 --> 01:08:38,947
Ms. Rita Filagree.

764
01:08:42,368 --> 01:08:45,537
As everyone expected,
a surprise witness.

765
01:08:45,830 --> 01:08:48,915
Miss Filagree was a passenger
in the Grunwald vehicle,

766
01:08:49,208 --> 01:08:51,960
but was pronounced
dead at the scene.

767
01:08:54,130 --> 01:08:55,588
I do.

768
01:08:55,881 --> 01:08:59,384
Miss Filagree, as a passenger
in the Grunwald vehicle,

769
01:08:59,677 --> 01:09:03,096
can you identify the man
driving the blue Buick?

770
01:09:03,389 --> 01:09:05,431
Yes.

771
01:09:05,724 --> 01:09:07,892
Is he in this courtroom right now?

772
01:09:09,061 --> 01:09:10,145
Yes!

773
01:09:11,856 --> 01:09:14,065
Could you kindly point him
out to me, please?

774
01:09:14,358 --> 01:09:17,944
I can't do it. I just can't do it!

775
01:09:18,237 --> 01:09:21,197
Young lady, are you familiar with
the penal codes in this state?

776
01:09:21,490 --> 01:09:25,285
You wouldn't cry if you was just
getting yelled at, would you, Wally?

777
01:09:25,578 --> 01:09:27,620
Heck no, Beave!
Girls are different.

778
01:09:27,913 --> 01:09:28,955
I mean, if a guy cried,

779
01:09:29,248 --> 01:09:31,124
everybody'd think
he was a creep or something.

780
01:09:31,417 --> 01:09:34,419
Yeah, gee, Wally,
I guess you're right.

781
01:09:34,712 --> 01:09:37,964
Young lady, are you aware
that to withhold evidence

782
01:09:38,257 --> 01:09:40,884
pertinent to a crime so "heenious"...

783
01:09:41,177 --> 01:09:41,843
No.

784
01:09:43,304 --> 01:09:44,220
"Hineous"?

785
01:09:44,513 --> 01:09:46,264
- No.
- "Hinéous."

786
01:09:46,557 --> 01:09:48,516
I think it's pronounced "heenus."

787
01:09:48,809 --> 01:09:50,768
No, no, you wouldn't say
"Your Heenus."

788
01:09:51,061 --> 01:09:54,314
No! Ladies and gentlemen,
I have it right here.

789
01:09:54,607 --> 01:09:55,565
"Hyenas":

790
01:09:55,858 --> 01:09:59,694
Any of a family of cowardly,
carnivorous beasts of Asia and Africa.

791
01:09:59,987 --> 01:10:02,405
Oh, take me to the drive-in
and prove you love me!

792
01:10:05,576 --> 01:10:06,701
Hey, look, Wally.

793
01:10:06,994 --> 01:10:07,911
Wally!

794
01:10:08,204 --> 01:10:09,537
Lay off, will you!

795
01:10:13,042 --> 01:10:15,126
See? I told you we'd get hollered at.

796
01:10:16,295 --> 01:10:18,713
We mean no harm to your planet.

797
01:10:21,967 --> 01:10:25,970
Your Honor, the prosecution is making
a mockery of this courtroom!

798
01:10:26,263 --> 01:10:27,764
All right, all right!

799
01:10:28,057 --> 01:10:30,058
He's sitting over there.

800
01:10:35,481 --> 01:10:37,565
Oh, no. Him!

801
01:10:39,485 --> 01:10:44,030
The bailiff is now trying to identify
the driver of the blue Buick.

802
01:10:44,323 --> 01:10:46,866
Everyone is, of course,
anxiously awaiting

803
01:10:47,159 --> 01:10:49,202
the identification
of the mystery driver.

804
01:10:49,495 --> 01:10:52,121
This could blow the case wide open.

805
01:10:52,414 --> 01:10:54,123
I think perhaps the next person to...

806
01:10:54,416 --> 01:10:56,084
That's him!

807
01:10:57,836 --> 01:11:00,046
Announcer Steven McCrosky
was found guilty

808
01:11:00,339 --> 01:11:04,008
and sentenced to 20 years
in a federal penitentiary.

809
01:11:04,760 --> 01:11:08,221
Stenographer Gordon Simley
had a sex change operation,

810
01:11:08,514 --> 01:11:11,432
and is now a switch-hitter
for the Atlanta Braves.

811
01:11:11,725 --> 01:11:14,894
Wallace and Theodore Cleaver
had their allowance suspended,

812
01:11:15,187 --> 01:11:17,605
and were sent to bed without supper.

813
01:11:29,201 --> 01:11:32,787
She was six feet of black dynamite.

814
01:11:33,080 --> 01:11:35,498
He was a short Hasidic Jew.

815
01:11:35,791 --> 01:11:39,085
She fought a savage battle
to stay alive in the ghetto.

816
01:11:39,378 --> 01:11:41,963
He studied the Talmud at night.

817
01:11:49,972 --> 01:11:52,265
While she burned the ghetto
to the ground,

818
01:11:52,558 --> 01:11:55,310
he kindled the Sabbath candles.

819
01:12:05,446 --> 01:12:07,447
Theirs was a love of passion,

820
01:12:07,740 --> 01:12:12,493
a torrid sensual lust
fueled by those who said no!

821
01:12:19,376 --> 01:12:22,754
They alone dared to triumph
in a hellish inferno

822
01:12:23,047 --> 01:12:24,714
of unrelenting desire.

823
01:12:25,007 --> 01:12:28,634
Never before has the screen
unleashed such violent fury.

824
01:12:28,927 --> 01:12:30,219
Never again will one man

825
01:12:30,512 --> 01:12:33,181
and one woman defy
such incredible odds.

826
01:12:34,641 --> 01:12:37,727
Together, no one could stop them.

827
01:12:49,281 --> 01:12:50,490
Whether we know it or not,

828
01:12:50,783 --> 01:12:53,326
chemicals play an important
and ever-increasing role

829
01:12:53,619 --> 01:12:55,119
in our daily lives.

830
01:12:55,412 --> 01:12:58,790
One of the most widely used
and oldest chemical compounds

831
01:12:59,083 --> 01:13:00,666
is Zinc oxide.

832
01:13:00,959 --> 01:13:04,712
This policeman, this farmer,

833
01:13:05,005 --> 01:13:06,839
and this housewife
don't realize it,

834
01:13:07,132 --> 01:13:10,551
but they all depend on
zinc oxide in their daily lives.

835
01:13:10,844 --> 01:13:13,179
But how do I use zinc oxide?

836
01:13:13,472 --> 01:13:16,891
If it weren't for zinc oxide,
you wouldn't have that bar of soap...

837
01:13:17,976 --> 01:13:20,061
the dish towels you use every day...

838
01:13:22,064 --> 01:13:23,481
your toaster...

839
01:13:23,774 --> 01:13:25,691
that brassiere you're wearing...

840
01:13:28,195 --> 01:13:29,612
your kitchen sink...

841
01:13:31,573 --> 01:13:32,907
those curtain rods...

842
01:13:33,992 --> 01:13:35,827
the shelves in your refrigerator...

843
01:13:39,248 --> 01:13:40,581
metal hooks...

844
01:13:41,333 --> 01:13:43,167
the heat control on your stove...

845
01:13:45,712 --> 01:13:47,755
the safety catch on your son's rifle...

846
01:13:49,174 --> 01:13:50,591
that fire extinguisher...

847
01:13:56,432 --> 01:13:58,433
the emergency brake on your car...

848
01:14:03,355 --> 01:14:04,730
all brakes...

849
01:14:10,863 --> 01:14:12,113
that blanket.

850
01:14:13,073 --> 01:14:14,449
How about sand?

851
01:14:18,120 --> 01:14:19,787
Yes, sand.

852
01:14:21,039 --> 01:14:22,081
Oh, my God!

853
01:14:22,374 --> 01:14:23,875
Your husband's pacemaker.

854
01:14:27,379 --> 01:14:28,754
Your artificial limb.

855
01:14:30,716 --> 01:14:34,510
Yes, zinc oxide at work
in our daily lives.

856
01:14:35,262 --> 01:14:37,472
Watch for
science series number seven...

857
01:14:46,231 --> 01:14:48,441
It's been said that
the test of a man's courage

858
01:14:48,734 --> 01:14:51,152
is how he performs
in the face of danger.

859
01:14:52,404 --> 01:14:53,446
Well, in the next half hour,

860
01:14:53,739 --> 01:14:56,324
you're gonna meet
a very unique breed of cat,

861
01:14:56,617 --> 01:14:59,827
the kind of man who doesn't know
the meaning of the word fear:

862
01:15:00,120 --> 01:15:02,788
Rex Kramer, part-time
airline mechanic,

863
01:15:03,081 --> 01:15:04,582
full-time daredevil.

864
01:15:04,875 --> 01:15:08,461
A man willing to risk his life
for the sake of adventure.

865
01:15:08,754 --> 01:15:12,298
He has to chase it,
confront it, and whip it.

866
01:15:12,591 --> 01:15:15,718
Rex Kramer: danger seeker.

867
01:15:33,779 --> 01:15:35,530
Niggers!

868
01:15:35,822 --> 01:15:37,198
Say what?!

869
01:15:59,805 --> 01:16:02,056
Turn on the TV.
I think the news is on.

870
01:16:02,808 --> 01:16:04,058
Forget it!

871
01:16:06,687 --> 01:16:08,437
Come on, turn on the TV.

872
01:16:23,662 --> 01:16:27,582
...Billingsley goes on trial today
with an aide, for extortion.

873
01:16:27,874 --> 01:16:29,875
Billingsley is the fourth
governor in U.S. history

874
01:16:30,168 --> 01:16:31,711
to be tried for a crime while in office.

875
01:16:32,004 --> 01:16:34,380
U.S. attorney Mark Fielding
is the prosecutor,

876
01:16:34,673 --> 01:16:38,134
and Billingsley charges that
Fielding is trying to destroy him,

877
01:16:38,427 --> 01:16:41,178
and, quote,
"handpick the next governor."

878
01:16:41,471 --> 01:16:43,556
Senator John Hammond
of New Mexico says

879
01:16:43,849 --> 01:16:45,891
that a report scheduled
for release next week

880
01:16:46,184 --> 01:16:47,685
will embarrass the CIA

881
01:16:47,978 --> 01:16:49,437
and the FBI.

882
01:16:49,730 --> 01:16:52,064
The report will
not damage the agencies,

883
01:16:52,357 --> 01:16:54,233
and will recommend
ouster of any senator

884
01:16:54,526 --> 01:16:57,320
who leaks secret
intelligence information.

885
01:16:58,864 --> 01:17:01,907
In Detroit, top officials of
the United Rubber Workers Union

886
01:17:02,200 --> 01:17:04,744
are concentrating their
11th-hour contract talks

887
01:17:05,037 --> 01:17:07,747
on the Big Three
tire and rubber companies.

888
01:17:08,040 --> 01:17:10,166
Because of the wage price freeze
three years ago,

889
01:17:10,459 --> 01:17:13,085
the union didn't get a cost of living
clause in its contract,

890
01:17:13,378 --> 01:17:15,755
and this time the URW is demanding

891
01:17:16,048 --> 01:17:18,924
an unlimited cost of living clause.

892
01:17:19,217 --> 01:17:22,386
Well, businesses are in turmoil
and traffic is at a standstill

893
01:17:22,679 --> 01:17:25,598
as more than 500,000
Japanese railway workers

894
01:17:25,891 --> 01:17:28,851
staged a three-day strike,
which began today.

895
01:17:29,144 --> 01:17:32,813
Officials say the strike disrupted
the lives of sevent...

896
01:17:36,902 --> 01:17:39,236
...seve-- seventeen million
city-dwellers across Japan,

897
01:17:39,529 --> 01:17:44,659
who use trains to get to work
or to school.

898
01:17:44,951 --> 01:17:47,745
Commuters scrambled to find
alternative ways

899
01:17:48,038 --> 01:17:51,832
to get to their jobs as
traffic clogged Tokyo streets.

900
01:17:52,668 --> 01:17:56,253
Tens of thousands of
lower-level employees

901
01:17:56,546 --> 01:17:58,839
were forced to stay in their desks...

902
01:17:59,132 --> 01:18:01,842
No, um, they camp out in desks and...

903
01:18:03,095 --> 01:18:05,805
because clo...
stores were closing down.

904
01:18:06,098 --> 01:18:08,683
The, um, strike there is...

905
01:18:09,768 --> 01:18:10,935
what's happening...

906
01:18:11,228 --> 01:18:15,648
in Japan, with those Japanese.

907
01:18:15,941 --> 01:18:18,359
Prices on the stock market
softened this afternoon

908
01:18:18,652 --> 01:18:20,236
from readings earlier in the day

909
01:18:20,529 --> 01:18:22,947
as the pace of trading has slackened.

910
01:18:25,659 --> 01:18:27,660
Experts attribute the stabilization

911
01:18:27,953 --> 01:18:32,081
to the recent deregulation
of foreign imports.

912
01:18:32,791 --> 01:18:35,668
Well, tragedy struck the new
Hitchcock home development today,

913
01:18:35,961 --> 01:18:37,962
when a gas explosion ripped through

914
01:18:38,255 --> 01:18:40,005
their recreation center.

915
01:18:40,298 --> 01:18:44,176
The explosion claimed
the lives of the owner

916
01:18:44,469 --> 01:18:47,388
of the development,
Mr. James Hitchcock...

917
01:18:49,057 --> 01:18:51,350
and his entire family of five.

918
01:18:51,643 --> 01:18:53,686
Three others were injured
and two people

919
01:18:53,979 --> 01:18:55,896
are still listed as missing.

920
01:19:15,792 --> 01:19:17,877
Sudan revealed evidence, uh,
Wednesday night

921
01:19:18,170 --> 01:19:20,671
that Colonel Hernando Escalante
of Libya

922
01:19:20,964 --> 01:19:24,049
is trying to fly troops and arms...

923
01:19:24,342 --> 01:19:26,385
and legs...

924
01:19:26,678 --> 01:19:31,098
to Uganda to assist
president Adi Amin.

925
01:20:02,047 --> 01:20:03,589
Uh, goodnight and, uh,

926
01:20:03,882 --> 01:20:05,883
thank you for joining us here

927
01:20:06,176 --> 01:20:09,386
on, um, Eyewitness News.

928
01:20:17,229 --> 01:20:20,314
I'm not wearing any pants.